PROPAGANDA

10. LMFAO @ Platinum Nightclub, BroadBeach 

There was shuffling. 

There were champagne showers. 

It was Matt Stafford’s birthday. 

Sammy was behind the bar. 

Before we had a chance to take it all in it was midday and we were in Banora Point. (Which was either a monumental fail or the best night ever - yet to decide). Nursing a mean hangover from going Jager for Jager with the birthday boy, I forked out $100 for a cab back to Main Beach with my tail between my legs. 

 9. LaLa Luau NYE 2011 @ LaLa Land, Byron Bay 

Not usually ones to pee in our own pockets but our New Years Eve parties are pretty darn good. Due to noise and his need for rest before numerous New Years Day gigs around the country our guest DJ requested he didn’t stay at our apartment. Alas, he ended up leaving straight for his plane at 10am, no sleep and still wearing his Hawaiian shirt! I received a MMS at 11pm that night still going strong! Legend. 

8. Mickey Avalon @ LaLa Land, Byron Bay 

One time male prostitute & crackhead who raps predominately about his dick, somehow lands one of the parties of the year. Not hard to see why with lyrics like this: 

My dick don't fit down the chimney 

Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines 

My dick is like an M16 

Your dick - broken vending machine 

7. Our Birthday’s/Dance Aid @ LaLa Land, Byron Bay 

Rhys and Sammy’s birthday’s fall 2 days apart and these special days have snowballed the last few years to be one of the pin up party weeks on the calendar. Furthermore, the Queensland floods of last summer needed a fundraiser. It’s rare that you get to go out and party and the proceeds of doing so go to a good cause. Even rarer that an event like this would fall on your birthday. So when anyone asks why I was wearing a bike helmet in the club or why was there 2 types of birthday cake literally smashed all over the apartment, I say that it was in support of the QLD Premiers Flood Relief Appeal. The next day we felt like jumping off a cliff – so we did. 

6. ATB @ Sutra Newport Beach -> Riva Starr @ Wet Republic -> Akon @ Chateau -> Identity Fest @ Mandalay Bay -> Bart B More @ Dim Mak L.A 

A night out in Newport Beach, California turns into the ultimate test of party endurance and culminates with me drinking a guitar full of Jagermeister and roundhouse kicking the dining table at a room in the Imperial Palace before miraculously driving back to LA and starting all over again... Here's the run down: 

* I know what you're thinking, ATB really? Yes, the guy who made 9PM (Til I Come), don’t know if it was the bottles of Grey Goose I was smashing with some Aussie guy who plays for the Padres but he was actually pretty good. 

* Wet Republic - The original pool party in Vegas was every bit as good as it was last year (see last years list). TIP: Wear sunscreen, Summer in Las Vegas is fucking hot. 

* Akon - Stretch grabbed his arse. 

* Lets be honest Americans are still getting the hang of festivals but with a line-up that includes Booka Shade, Afrojack, Kaskade, Pretty Lights & Steve Aoki you can easily overlook the pre-teen furry pant wearing ravers making out on the dancefloor. Nero almost made me like dubstep. 

* Dim Mak - Steve Aoki's infamous club night didn't disappoint. With the best crowd we'd seen in, Cali kick arse sound and Bart B More dropping some serious dancefloor heat. Props to our homeboy Stretch for landing himself the opening set of the night. 

5. Prom Night @ Elsewhere, Surfers Paradise 

What do you get when you cross university students, party tunes, inflatable boats and the coolest club on the Gold Coast? A party so wild even a guy dressed as a sad lion can wind up in a threesome. It’s back again this year by popular demand 

4. Creamfields, Brisbane 

The mainstage was rammed all day with act like Martin Solvieg, Skrillex & Deadmau5 which left us with plenty of dance floor real-estate for the real highlights; Round Table Knights & Umek. Someone punched Deadmau5 at the afterparty.... 

3. Flight Facilities @ Potato Head (Junction Festival), Bali 

Lets not beat around the bush here, Kuta is fucked. You would be excused if you landed in Bali and saw the state of Kuta on a Saturday night (or any night for that matter) and wanted to hop on the next flight out of there. Fortunately, heaven exists just 10 minutes down the road and goes by the name of Potato Head Beach Club (named after it's sister venue in Jakarta). More of a restaurant than club this place really has to be seen to be believed and we were lucky enough to catch Australia's favourite purveyors of disco, Flight Facilities spinning and part of this years Junction Festival. Anyone who has ever caught a FF set should know exactly what I mean. Add to that the beachfront location, beautiful women and not a single Bintang singlet in sight, which is no mean feat considering the 1500 person strong crowd and you have the disco of the century. 

Honourable Mention to the Flight Facilities boys for backing up a few months later and turning up un-announced at our club and smashing out their best set of the tour (by their own admission). That night ended with a full strip show which had town talking for days. 

 Dis-honourable mention to The Cave - Seminyak's secret after hours venue. The club is actually been made to look like a cave. Near impossible to find, It’s 50 meters down from Potato Head next door to the Circle K - just knock on the big wooden door and you're in. 

2. Round Table Knights @ LaLa Land, Byron Bay 

This party was on the list before it even happened. Things got real tropical courtesy of a promo campaign lead by Josh 'Loose Lips' Latinovic, who started a 30 person strong conga line complete with maracas. Also in top form was Jager Dan, who had flown in for the week to raise drinking stakes high. The boys played all their hits plus 'Pony' by Genuwine just to ensure we were all hard and wet long after boxing day. The night was such a turn on that some didn’t make it home and went X rated in the toilets. Stay classy San Diego. 

1. Stereosonic , Sydney and Brisbane

Tickets sold like hotcakes this year and rightly so. Promoters Totem Onelove nailed the line up. When I heard that the Sydney stop was going to be the biggest dance festival in Australian history I had to be there. Avicii played 'Levels'. People sung. Benny Benassi played 'Cinema'. People Danced. LMFAO played 'Party Rock Anthem'. People shuffled. 

When it rolled into Brisbane as the final leg no one was disappointed. After staying relatively low key at the Sydney day we wanted to cutloose. When we ran into John Connor and his entourage, the number 1 party of the year looked easily within sight. Like proud parents we watched on as 4 of our resident DJs played throughout the day. But once again all talk was about the after-party, news had spread across Australia that last years was the party of the decade, so many had come to Brisbane just to see for themselves. Again, Carl Cox spun a 5 hours disco set and he had all the guests with hands in the air to the early 90’s hit ‘Gypsy Woman’. Similarly to last year, rest of the details of the night get a little foggy but I am pretty sure shares in Patron were way up on Monday morning. 

VICE: Do’s & Don’ts

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We haven’t been so active of recent but one big event this weekend had to draw a post. All the most gorgeous single men in town (bar Mat Hughes) lock horns this Friday night in ‘Byron’s Sexiest Bachelor’ event. It’s a great initiative to raise funds for the Common grounds photography scholarship in honour of Jonno Howell.

LaLa is very pleased to have one of our very own in the contest and the bookies have been inundated with bids for Tom Clune as hot favourite – no pun intended!

If you haven’t noticed our Tommy it would prove to me you haven’t visited the club in the last 12 months. This guy leaves an impression. One of my favourite past times is to stand at the end of the bar and watch girls whisper to one another and fall into a giggling mess when they come to order a drink. Makes me think, are they even coming to order a drink??? Jealous and fellow employee, Rhys Bynon labelled the Phenomena as the ‘wiggles’ factor – with a comparison of an entire gender being as infatuated with Tommy as children are watching a Wiggles concert.

If you can’t get down to the competition this Friday and cheer on this young stud you can catch the Clune every weekend at the club. Do us proud kid!

- Iceman

Super Top Secret just printed up some new Super Top Secret t-shirts. Instead of selling them, they are using them as an opportunity to give something back to the homeless.

All you have to do to get one of the shirts is send them a heinous Ed Hardy tee (or Affliction tee).

In turn around they will donate it to the homeless. You get some a cool new t-shirt and at the same time help bring this rid the world of Ed Hardy tees. They will also accept Monarchy or any other offensively bedazzled man blouse. Along with your donation they will post pictures of where your old t-shirt ended up.

If you want to get involved click here

5. Creamfields Music Festival, Brisbane

Creamfields exploded into Australia for its very first time. It was one wild day to be had. A ticket to the event came in at under $100, which is unheard of amongst music festivals nowadays. The line up included Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77, MSTRKRFT, Ferry Corsten and LMFAO. Post Bloody Beetroots gig I shared a bottle of Grey Goose with Tommy (and tipped it everywhere whilst telling him ‘to put it on the spillage tab’).

4. WMC/Ultra Music Festival - Miami

Not so long ago the Winter Music Conference (held every March in Miami) was the biggest date on the international dance music calendar - djs and their tracks could be made or broken. Nowadays there is far less business but the parties are bigger than ever, imagine a whole summer in Ibiza compressed into 2 weeks and dropped on South Beach. Pool parties are the hot tip with most of the major hotels hosting poolside events during the day - I caught Sharam, Joris Voorn & Eric Prydz at the infamous Shelbourne for only $10. At night, record labels showcase their artist & dj talent this year the OM Records party featured Groove Armada, Mark Farina, Classixx, Treasure Fingers & Aeroplane. Fortunately I was lucky enough to witness the world premier of Duck Sauce over at the fools gold party. Unfortunately it was also the first time in the world they played Barbara Streisand.

The conference culminates in the 2-day Ultra Music Festival (it will be 3 days 2011) and we're talking Tiesto, David Guetta and the Swedish House Mafia - and that’s just the beginning of the main stage! I saw at least 100 people on stage with Major Lazer, Tommy Lee play drums with deadmau5, Steve Aoki singing (and stage diving) with the Bloody Beetroots and Fedde Le Grand unleash this monster upon the world: 

However all this hedonistic goodness doesn’t come cheap, its not uncommon to pay upwards of $50US to walk into a club so have the so start saving now. My advice is to register for the conference early (like now!) - it's a lot cheaper, and the cost of registration includes your admission to Ultra and free or discounted entry to just about every party in town.

Check these out for more info:

www.wmcon.com

www.ultramusicfestival.com

3. Stereosonic Brisbane After Party @ Birdie Num Nums

Don’t get me wrong, the festival was rad - we kicked it backstage, side stage and front of stage. Sammy Owens will have you believe I literally lost my shit whilst dancing to an impromtu back to back set from Luciano & Ricardo Villalobos. But it was the afterwards where the real party went down. People were having sex in the toilets, Afrojack was macking women in the booths, Carl Cox was spinning disco for 6+ hours and I was on the dancefloor with Yolanda Be Cool (and just about everyone else). All I need now is some photos of the night because apart from the aforementioned I can remember little else.

2. Wet Republic @ MGM Grand, Las Vegas

We've already established that pool parties are the shit so let me break this down for you:

Security: Hectic & thorough

Number of people in pool: 1000

Cover Charge: $50+

Beer: $10

100ml bottle of sunscreen: $15

The fact that I wound up at a strip club in the middle of the desert (Crazy Horse 3) at 10am the next day with a thai hooker straddling my mate and a foursome unfolding back in the hotel room - PRICELESS 

1. Claude VonStroke @ LaLa Land

Having been staring at the screen for a hour trying describe this night & no words seem to do it justice, so I’m just going to come straight out with it - CLAUDE VONSTROKE PLAYED FOR 6 HOURS! That’s right, he just kept on playing (on the proviso that we fed him a jager every 30 minutes or so). Not to detract away from his 1-3 set to the punter which was amazing in itself but the lucky few that remained bore witness to something truly special and were singing 'Go Loco' for weeks to come

"I’d like to do a quick summary of Australia. Overall it was a great trip with some amazing highlights in Brisbane, Byron Bay (all 6hrs – thanks!)..." - Claude VonStroke

No, thank you Claude. Thanks for giving us not only our number 1 highlight of the year but for a lucky dozen their number 1 disco experience of all time.

Once when we were in Las Vegas, Saturday resident Rhys Bynon was mistaken for a black man (by a girl that wanted to pee on him). So… its only logical that he'd make a hip hop mix right? Life will make you dance 5 - its hotter than a Laredo parking lot. It's the perfect download for your next house party.
LWMYD5 by Rhys Bynon

Stereosonic Music Festival wrapped up its 3rd year of national tours last Sunday in Brisbane. A dozen of the LaLa crew were fortunate enough to get up to the festival and share some pretty special memories. We headed up mid morning and checked into the Medina, conveniently located a minute walk from the Valley and near to the festival ground – recommend for anyone having a night out. The manager on duty was nice enough to allow a pre party with 20 guests in our loft apartment.

The sun came out mid afternoon and we made way to the party. Highlights included catching Bart B More on the outrage stage, Luciano and Ricardo Villalobos playing a surprise back-to-back set, shooting pool back stage with Jimmy Vegas, dancing to resident DJ Daniel Webber, Emma Jeffery being kicked out, drinking Switch’s rider, daggering with Major Lazer, getting sidestage for Calvin Harris, and the Tiesto light show. For all the highlight's check the official vid >

The party continued back at the top floor of Birdee’s with most of the artists in attendance and Carl Cox spinning 5 hours of old school disco. It was the talking point for even the most experienced party hardy’s, being in the ‘top 5’ of our life. I didn’t want the morning to end but reality took a crash when I returned to work (like many others) that day. Ouch!

And if there was ever any doubt towards the headliner Tiesto, lets just say he was a tear jerker...

- Iceman

The summer has landed and I’ve compiled my essential 5 summer songs of all time. Nothing beats laying on the beach with good mates, knocking back Cuba Libre’s and listening to these tunes.

5. Watch the sunrise – Axwell

4. Riding the wave – Sunfreakz

3. The sound of violence – Cassius

2. Beachball – Nalin & Kane

1. Don’t stop - ATB

Movember

Our girlfriends hate it and if you're single, looking like a bad version of Freddie Mercury definitely isn't going to get you laid. But that didn’t stop nearly half a million men from growing a moustache for the month formerly known as November in support of depression and prostate cancer research. Naturally an idea this good could only have begun in Australia, created by a group of 30 mates in 2003, Movember runs official campaigns in six countries with further support and donations pouring in from around the globe. Last year raised more than 21 million dollars in Australia. Here at LaLa Land the guys did their bit too, sporting some of the dirtiest mo's in town but more importantly donating their tips for the month. Having raised $600 ($598.70 to be exact) we would like to thank everyone for generous support and girls next time you’re complaining about the fluff on your mans upper lip remember that it is beneficial in more ways than one!

Head over to the Movember site for more info and show your support. http://au.movember.com/

By noon on Saturday, more than 10,000 school leavers had made the annual pilgrimage to Byron Bay in celebration of finishing high school. By midnight, most of them were tucked away in bed.

This disturbing trend is being mirrored in schoolies hot spots around the country as accommodation providers report lines over half a kilometer long of teenager’s eager to get to bed. In one disturbing event, onlookers reported more than 4,000 ‘revellers’ sitting on the beach and chatting quietly. Some witnesses described in horror how there was hysterical laughter and hand holding. As schoolies began to spiral out of control one male was treated for girl germs by ambulance officers attending the scene.

Mayor Jan Barham is obviously been very pleased with the behavior of schoolies thus far, but Police Officers at ‘ground zero’ likened the event to the ‘Bay Of Pigs’, as girls began waving to passersby in the street and they insist that if the school leavers don’t start drinking heavily, fighting and having unprotected sex they will come down heavily on the Red Frog Crew (RFC) who are fueling the good behavior with water and delicious red frogs. Whilst the other nightclubs are having themed nights aimed at schoolies why fuck would you go anywhere other than LALA LAND? The Sydney Morning Herald reported the line to get in was over 100 meters long, seriously though.

Next weeks events:

Monday – Yolanda Be Cool

Tuesday – Feenix Pawl

Wednesday – Ajax

Thursday –Tommy Trash

Friday – Nick Galea

Saturday – Miles Junior + Rhys Bynon (aka Peto Bear)

Sunday – Don Nadi ‘It's safe to come out now party’

- Goose